Thank you for allowing me a place to rest for awhile.

Sure do like this space here.Just not able to contact Lorraine.Spent alot of time typing out a letter & then it never made it to her.

I am happy to be a part of this wonderful community. I have been a caregiver for my fiancee, Darren, who suffers from Meningioma. The tumor was never diagnosed until he was an adult. As a teenager he suffered from severe headaches and was often thought to be some form sinus problem. When Darren came into my life, he was able to complete treatment that he desperately needed, his 29 treatments of radiation at UCLA. The tumor was too big for Gamma Knife so radiation therapy was the only option. The tumor is not growing which is the good thing. Unfortunely, it has left Darren scarred by complete loss of eyesight in his right eye, blurry vision in his left eye and loss of his sense of smell. Emotionally he feels useless because he lost his career as a radio morning show host in Fort Collins, Colorado. Today I struggle with him day by day financially as a juggle care giving for him and my 90 year old patient, teaching 4th grade students, and making it to all Darren's appointments and support groups. I do this with love and appreciation that I was here to help Darren find meaning for his life and not let his tumor rule it. I am hoping that needs other than simply medical are addressed for these patients. They need to know that there lives have meaning and that they can begin again. They need to know that there are people who love them that are willing to go the distance when they feel like giving up. I welcome any who need my support as it is often difficult for caregivers and family members to stay strong in their mutual struggle. May all read this know that I am here for them.

Wow, what a touching message. I'm sure Darren KNOWS how lucky of a man he is to have you.

It is a tough road for you, I'm sure. Often the caregiver is set aside and left to deal with the enormous responsibility and deep emotions alone.

I applaud you for your kindness and giving and hope that
your life together will begin to be more of a joy, with fewer hurdles.

"Life is not fair but God is good." It is amazing how we are surrounded by loved ones who'd sacrifice so much for us.

Rivkahe, It takes time, but I think Darren will show progress and will come to terms with his disability and recover from the blow of having this davasdating illness.

If I remember correctly, meningioma is benign and quite treatable. Please let Darren know that we all suffer from side effects and acquired some deficits. Some of us have malignant tumor that ever recurrs or not very treatable.

And he's got a devoted fiancee like you! What a lucky guy!

I am also a member of a breast cancer support group and a hysterectomy group. Is there a head injury support group in your local area/hospital? I think it might help to meet 'real' people to help Darren put things in perspectives.

In the 20 years since my first brain (tumor) surgery, I probably have been 'fired' from more than 20 different jobs. I'd worked as a professional with supervisory responsibility, I'd worked minimum wage jobs. I'd been told to my face (or in my back) that I was 'brain damaged'. But I kept on going. Either drawing a salary or receiving unemployment.

Be sure to let Darren know that our brain is a very 'fluid', very 'moldable' peace of art. There's a PBS program discussing about 'brain plasticity'. From what I understand - took Anatomy & Physiology 15 years ago - we don't use but 3-5 % of all of our brain cells in our life-time. The neurons can get reconnected by 'synapsing' even if certain cells have been injured.

It's also a 'use it or lose it' situation. Depression had reduced my activity level in 1991 when I lost my job after my 23-hour brain surgery. I was becoming an 'idiot' that my ex-co-workers had perceived me to be. But I made a come back. (Was fortunate to get a cashier's job in a Chinese restaurant where fluent English became my best asset.)

So the next time when I lost my job after my 2nd surgery (a Gamma-knife 11 years later), I knew how to handle it and got a minimum wage part-time job right away.

Then I had breast cancer (twice) and chemotherapy (twice)... But life goes on. My husband and I just celebrated our 22nd anniversary. He gets frustrated with me sometimes, but I've been the bread winner most of the time... :) [He had heart surgery 8 years ago.]

I wish you both happiness and wealth (you will need it :) Take it easy in your teaching job. I taught special ed for three years (did not pass my internship) so I know how it is.

Take care.

Jackie (M&M :)

Wow! I like your spirit.My kind of gal.When life throws you some lemons you make lemonade.Way to go!

Darren is Blessed to have you!

is pilocytic astrocytoma reoccurs