This blog is written by the NBTS Patient Services Team. If you would like more information, please call the Patient Services Line at 800.934.2873 or email info@braintumor.org.
Lauren’s Story – No Regrets or What Ifs
Posted by:
Patient Services Team on
April 21, 2011 at
12:28PM UEDT
This week’s story comes to us from Lauren, a member of the NBTS Caregiver Support Network. Lauren, age 43, was a caregiver for her husband who was
diagnosed with an oligoastrocytoma in 2002. She describes her experience
below.
Please tell us a little about your life at the time your
loved one was diagnosed.
I was a happy but tired mother of two little
boys with a third baby on the way. My husband Paul and I enjoyed our suburban
lifestyle and were surrounded by many close friends and family. After a bout of
headaches, Paul was diagnosed with a brain tumor in February of 2002. Life as
we knew it changed that day forever. Paul fared well after surgery, chemo and
radiation for about 21 months until the tumor returned. The second surgery left
Paul grossly impaired and he passed away 6 months later.
How has
life changed since then?
I have raised my 3 children (third was a girl!)
as a single mother but, thankfully, with the love and support of a wonderful
family and many close neighbors and friends. Time has marched on. My kids are
no longer babies and I am involved in a long-term
relationship.
What is one piece of advice you would have for a
new caregiver?
Don’t forget to take care of yourself. It is so easy to
lose sight of your physical and mental needs during this time of crisis. Take
people up on offers to give you a break, prepare meals, babysit the kids, drive
to radiation, etc. Go out for dinner with friends, go to the gym, get a
manicure – do whatever will make you feel normal and tended
to.
What has been the most rewarding or challenging part of
caregiving for you?
Despite the fact that my husband lost his battle with
his brain tumor, I felt some comfort knowing that I got him the best treatment
and care I could have possibly provided for him. I never felt any regrets or
“what ifs”. I also took some pride in giving him the most “normal” lifestyle I
could despite his mental and physical impairments. I took him to the movies,
out for dinner with friends, to school functions. I think it was good for him
to get out of the house and also enabled me to get out with him and do normal
activities.
Do you have any suggestions for ways caregivers can
care for themselves?
Chances are, this phase of your life is temporary.
So, don’t neglect your relationships with others. Stay connected to them. It’s
easy to let yourself become alienated from the real world but try not to. You
will return to it one day. Also, don’t let your own health decline. Try to eat
right, get some exercise and perhaps some therapy.
Describe your
experience/journey as a caregiver in three words:
Stressful; exhausting;
perspective-altering.
NBTS Headquarters Blog
Please Wait...