http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions en-us http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2012/05/04/at-tumors-end http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2012/05/04/at-tumors-end With ups and downs,
Struggles at night--
With joy and frowns.

I fight the fight
Until tumors end--
By Faith, not sight
At tumors end.

I fight the fight
For cure or peace
Walking to light
When tumors cease.]]> Fri, 04 May 2012 13:56:56 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2012/02/11/random-lines http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2012/02/11/random-lines Old friends must cry
When they see me
Struggle for a word.
For they remember
Literary quotes of
Plays and Shakespeare,
I remember not
Lines oft quoted.

Books, old friends,
Read over and over;
Read again as if
Never read before
Like Shakespeare's
Brief candle out.
Out until re-lit
To flicker in some
Random line.

Candle out for
Book once read--
For the fragile
Page has turned.
Lesson learned.]]> Sat, 11 Feb 2012 23:33:53 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2012/01/01/happy-new-year http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2012/01/01/happy-new-year As time the old rearranges.

Happy is the new year
When you're spreading cheer.

No one fudges or fakes it:
Life is what you make it.]]> Sun, 01 Jan 2012 14:10:37 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/11/17/dont-sweat-small-stuff http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/11/17/dont-sweat-small-stuff I always say;
Today is ever enough;
Lord will find a way.

Don't sweat small stuff:
For it just won't do--
Or ever be enough
To get you by and through.

Don't sweat small stuff;
The Lord will advise
My Grace is enough
To always win the prize.

]]> Thu, 17 Nov 2011 16:21:44 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/10/06/i-want-to-know http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/10/06/i-want-to-know In time you see;
Knowing for show
Isn't good for me.

If knowing makes
A life worth while,
That's what it takes
To live with style.

I want to know
Within my limits;
I want to know
As time permits.

It's no use being
Over, always sad
For that's not living:
Be grateful glad.]]> Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:57:07 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/09/11/911 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/09/11/911 To change a mind,
To turn from hate,
And to be kind.

If the only thing
You ever made is
A twisted plane wing
In ruined towers
Of mass destruction,
You have wasted
Life's construction--
Yourself ruined.

It is never too late
To change a mind,
To turn from hate,
And to be kind.

If you look with glee
On twisted wreckage,
And cannot see,
Your own life wreckage
Mirrored back in
Broken glass shards
Always caving in
Along the yards.

It is never too late
To change a mind,
To turn from hate,
And to be kind.

If evil last impression
Is all you ever make,
A final concussion,
To never give, always take,
To always be destroying
What others choose to build,
And be a child annoying.

It is never too late
To change a mind,
To turn from hate,
And to be kind.]]> Sun, 11 Sep 2011 12:24:54 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/24/strength http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/24/strength You're so strong.
I count the days
When they are wrong.
I laugh and say,
Looking up to sky,
I'm held up by
God's hand today--
More than getting by.]]> Wed, 24 Aug 2011 13:41:22 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/21/cancer-cash-cow http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/21/cancer-cash-cow Sun, 21 Aug 2011 11:50:50 GMT lizzyblair http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/17/the-workshop http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/17/the-workshop There is a workshop
In my mind
Where swollen handles
Bend many a nail.

I relearn workshop
Motions.  Find a
Screwdriver go
Strangely askew.

I retool damaged
Pathways, or replace
Intellectual handles
For new use.

I refresh, with
Oil, rusty saws;
Resharpen once
Sharp chisels.

There is a workshop
In my mind:
Retooled to work
As faculties should.]]> Wed, 17 Aug 2011 17:39:37 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/09/a-room http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/09/a-room Or vision-dream,
A room where
All got well;
Furnished with hope,
Brighter days,
And suffering not--
Suffering stopped
At the door.
Design a dream.

I could design,
Or vision-dream,
A room where
Friendships formed
By working through
What is—into
What might be.
Suffering a mere
Moment in time
Left on doorstep.]]> Tue, 09 Aug 2011 22:07:43 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/07/forums-temp-down-aug-8th http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/08/07/forums-temp-down-aug-8th Hello!

Awhile back we told you about our plans to launch a new and improved discussion forum section. We are happy to report that the new discussion area is almost here! The switch to the new discussion forum will take place on Monday August 8th. Please note that the forums will be temporarily unavailable on August 8th while we transfer content from the old system to the new system during that down time. You will be able to read all previous posts in the forum area during the short down period, but will not be able to post any new topics. We hope to make the transition as smooth as possible and appreciate your patience during the upgrade. We look forward to hearing your feedback about the new system when it’s up and running. Please feel free to call the Patient Services Line at 800.934.2873 or email us at info@braintumor.org with any questions.

Thanks everyone!

Patient Services Team]]> Sun, 07 Aug 2011 23:03:01 GMT Patient Services Team http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/28/tumor-thoughts http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/28/tumor-thoughts Where tumors dare not come;
I come to comprehension--
Out of time, and reach for some.

I range into the continuum
Where tumors don't exist--
A space-time continuum,
Devoid of any angst.

I navigate an inner space
Where tumors don't belong;
I find my secret place,
And sing a little song.]]> Thu, 28 Jul 2011 14:56:42 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/16/meningioma-play-iii http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/16/meningioma-play-iii
How did I recover
From a Meningioma?
Slow march, slowly
From the craniotomy,
To medical Plastic Surgery,
From VNA visits,
Physical Therapy sessions,
To Occupational Therapy,
From doctor appointment
To doctor appointment,
From MRI to MRI
From cardiac catheterize,
To inter-cranial shunt,
From recurrence
To Gamma Knife
From a forehead dent,
To more Plastic Surgery.

January 17 made a
Full five years of
Working on a recovery.
July 1 was the first
Time I could walk / run
A mile slow march—slowly.
For me, twenty minutes
Was slow by comparison.
I used to run a mile
In five or ten minutes.

The brain tumor
Was quite enough,
And I'm not enjoying
Being upside down
On my house value.

The brain tumor
Was quite enough,
Thank you much,
No need to add
A recession too.

I guess I'm
Well enough to
Weather another
Sort of disaster.
Most people say
I've been through
Enough already.



I've yet to see
A recession proof
Silver lining—it's
Just gray—without
The pot of gold.

Streets of gold
Are reserved
For Heaven.

By relying on what
I can see,
The eyes of faith I shut:
Closed off by me.
Downcast I look to floor,
And walk into the night.
I bypass the door
Opening into the light.
Walk by faith—not sight.]]> Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:50:58 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/16/meningioma-play-ii http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/16/meningioma-play-ii
Enter Medical team

For every
Meningioma
There is a
Plan devised
By neurosurgical
Minds to defeat
The unwanted
Invader.

Tumor to large
For Gamma Knife:
A craniotomy is
In order.
Technique can be
An eyebrow cut,
Or across the
Head cut.
The first raises
The skin flap
To make a hole;
The second
Lowers a
Skin flap
To make a hole.

Patient

Making a hole
In my head
Seems so surreal.
How primitive!
The invader must
Be cut out.

Enter Neurosurgeon

Titanium
Plates and screws
To reattach bone;
Stitches or staples
To reattach skin.

Patient

A mini-erector-set
Composed of
Sleek, shiny
Titanium hardware:
Hardware! Headware?

How not-normal
All this talk sounds
In my ears!
The foreign sounding
Meningioma
Makes me drop
My glass—shattering.

Ten pounds lost
Before pre-op
Testing, and
Another fifteen
Before I'm done.
The one-fifty-five
Became one-thirty.

The first week
After surgery
Became a dark,
Blank space in
My memory--
Remembering
Only broken,
Shattered fragments:
Recalled at random
If recalled at all.

One black eye
I recall while
The nurse
Insists I had
Two black eyes.
I suppose one
Black eye is
An improvement
Over two.

I remember
Having no room
For another
Blood test
On either arm.
The nurse
Probed for the
Good vein
That recovered
Overnight.

I recall
Hurting where
I never knew
I could hurt,
And, at times,
Not remembering
Was better.

Frontal lobe
Tumor swelling
Affects the
Consciousness,
The personality,
Spacial awareness.
And processing
Information like
A computer.

A tumor is
Like crashing
A hard drive--
Wondering what
Data can be
Salvaged, or lost.

Drastic measures
Create drama:
Strength—not pleasures.
How to handle drama--
With additions, erasures,
And new adventures.]]> Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:45:23 GMT steven5 http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/16/meningioma-play http://my.braintumorcommunity.org/discussions/personal-expressions/2011/07/16/meningioma-play
Act I

Man looking out a window into the rain.
Heavy rain sound through first stanza.


October rain, rain,
Rain on my head,
Rain in my sinus,
Rain filling rivers,
Rain flowing roads,
And spilling over.

October floods, floods,
Water finding basements,
Flooding basements,
And I pump, I clean
As backyards overflow.

Sinus infection

Pressure, pressure
Mounting, increasing--
Never ceasing
As backyards overflow.

Enter CT Scan

No real infection,
I say, Quotes CT,
Space Occupying
Lesion exists.

Enter Lesion

SOL to mock
My sinus pain,
To press my
Limits to endure,
To make me
Drop things,
And feel through
The doorways.

Enter MRI

The defining,
Magnetic image
Of Meningioma
Casts its doleful
Shadow in an
Otherwise bright
Room filling with
Concerned faces.

Enter Meningioma
Dim Lights

Meningioma: a
Tumor darkening
Rooms and faces,
Making somber
The cheerful--
Leaving the happy
In sadness.

October rain
Flooding my mind
With meningioma pain--
Not very kind.
A reminder of what
I've been through,
Thoughts I've thought,
And process to renew--
Moving on to new]]> Sat, 16 Jul 2011 13:32:34 GMT steven5